A DECADE OF LOVE

All these years I thought I totally forget everything about you.  Though there was never an existence of “us”, still my memories of you haunt me so well.  I never thought that you still reside in the deepest part of me.  Maybe I was too scared to be rejected over again – not anymore if such rejection will come from you.  That’s why I decided to withdraw myself from you. Unconsciously, I still talk to people about you.  Damn!  I don’t know if this is a curse or whatever…  But maybe the relationships I had didn’t work out simply because I was never really over you….

Well, it’s been a decade already since that day when I started to fall for you.  God knows it was heaven on earth for me when we get to communicate often.  I couldn’t even forget the time when you invited me to a gathering in your house.  That was way back in college!  And oh before I forget, I couldn’t really help but remember the exact date when we rode on the same PUV from church.  If I’m not mistaken, you were to visit your special someone at that time.  You didn’t know me at the time ‘coz we’re from opposite worlds.  Nevertheless, it was an answered prayer for me. 

However, you flew to another side of the world to (maybe) find your luck.  I never had the chance to see you much as I wanted to.  Hence I settled to just keep on with life.  I knew back then that I have to get myself a life.  And so here’s what I have become now…

I tried so hard to convince myself that I am perfect, that everything’s okay.  Not until tonight, when I read this paperback.  It’s as if every memorial I’ve buried seems to come back to life.  I could only imagine myself making out a family with you.  It may sound so absurd but whenever I come to hear mass at the very cathedral where you used to go, all I can see is a blurred picture of you and someone special with kids around – and I must be so honest that I am imagining that someday, if the Lord allows, it’d be me.

Though this may sound hoping against hope, still in my heart rests a hopeful heart that loves and faithful to you no matter what….. (T _ T)